Monday, December 21, 2009

Another Day Another Dollar...or not

well...i had a good weekend...i visited my girlfriend's family in Michigan...I'm glad they like me...I'm pretty tired..this one is gonna be short...i cant wait to practice with the full band again...it keeps me sane...i wish i was more of an artist...i find without outside stimulation, i have no drive...it sucks...i used to draw on anything...just doodle...i don't even do that anymore...well, i just watched the metalocalypse Christmas special...bedtime

Friday, December 18, 2009

So, im gonna try this...

I've never really been into blogging...I always thought it was for assholes who just wanted to complain about how their lives were too hard...I guess i do that anyways, soo, im gonna give it a shot...fuck ending a sentence...ellipsis are way better...i never feel like anything i say is really relevant or matters at all...for those who dont know me, i am 20, male, fatish, trying to better myself, taken since 05, relatively happy i guess...so about two years ago my dad died...he was in a car wreck, which i believe was caused by a stroke...he was in the hospital for 3 months, in a coma for a while...when he did die, it was almost a relief...the father i had died in that car crash...he would have never been the same...so i got some of the grieving out of the way before he even died...its hard to believe i was at that hospital every single day...every day...now, i couldn't even tell you what room he was in, or how to get there...it is all a blur...easily the three worst days of my life were...the day he died...the wake...the funeral...it sucks, i get flashbacks...i never thought leaving would be that hard...i didn't want to go...now i cant even step into that room...ive been to a wake in that room...i stayed in back...i lost alot of connection with my brother in that time...i don't think he knows, but i know about all the drugs he was taking...i was soo scarred that he was going to overdose, or go to jail...then one day i get a call saying he got shot...my brother, the wolf loving, tattooed to hell, mowhawk wearing brother of mine was shot...he told the cops it was a drive by...he was just stoned with his friends and the fucking idiot with a gun...drugs+guns=bad...he could have died...i think that woke his ass up...when his car broke down me and him got closer...we were forced to talk with each other when i would pick him up from work...i love my brother...he really means a lot to me...im glad he is not dead...ive been in a relationship for about four years now...she is my world...i spend time with her everyday...we are best friends...i am the luckiest guy on earth...i can tell her anything without feeling embarrassed...that doesn't come often...i am actually a shy person...if i get to know you, im not really at all, but i get uncomfortable meeting new people...i think i may have a bit of social anxiety, nut my friends help with that...im gonna stop now...i will tell you more about my girlfriend, friends, and band tomorrow