Nothing New

Nothing of Importance to post. I'm still depressed, still hung up on some girl, still out of shape, still have no confidence, still to lazy to chance that. I suck

Father's Day

It's been two years. I put on a front, but inside I am devastated. This day will never be the same.

Time to get all Bro-Core...

In all honesty, the last three or four years of my life have been rough. I would even say that it just sucked for a lot of it. Everything from big things like losing my father, to small minuscule things like being unemployed. Life has not been great. The redeeming quality is my friends. I know everyone thinks it, but I have the best friends ever. Period. Some Ive had for sixteen years, some less than two. I would take a bullet for a select few, but anyone who considers me a friend, I hold in my heart. If I didn't have friends, I wouldn't have anything. They have helped me through everything, and with them, I can get through anything. As long as they are by my side, I'm invincible.

I guess this is growing up

Today I sold a couple of instruments that I don't play anymore. Instead of wasting the money I am putting it in the bank, and I didn't really spent money today. It is really weird, I'm not the type to be responsible. I guess I should get used to it. Fuck growing up sucks. I miss not having a care in the world...

Soo...

I have a job interview tomorrow. I hope my new outlook on life will help me. It could blow up in my face considering said outlook is not caring. I plan to look nice, but I'm keeping my stubbly growing chops. I shaved everywhere else, I just want the sideburns more than I want this job. Getting back to my new "lease on life." I have virtually stopped caring. If your not going to like me because I hang out with someone you don't like, or what I look like, then fuck off. I'm done caring about what people think of me. Fuck that. I'm still gonna be a "nice guy," but I'm not gonna put up with any bullshit like I used to. Hopefully I will be more happy.

Sooner than I ever thought possible...

So, the past five days have been amazing. I feel happy. No more bad dreams, no more feeling like there is a 50lb weight on my shoulders, back to normal. I think I am over her for now. There will probably be setbacks, but for now, I am. I even saw her the other day, and it didn't make me upset at all. Bad news is, I have not been doing well with making healthier decisions. Good news is, it's a new day. Time to grab life by the horns and make it my bitch.

Fuck Sleep

It seems every time I remember a dream, it's about her. It's never good either. Had a good workout yesterday, followed by a good breakfast. I ate like shit for the rest of the day :/ I'll get to a point where I can manage my time, and make meals for the week or something. Until then I'm just gonna try and stay positive. I didn't wake up early enough to go to the gym, maybe I'll go after work. I need to make more friends, or at least hang out more with the ones I do have. I don't really ever want to be alone. I hope I find someone who can make me forget, and I hope I find her soon...